


Letters from the Dead

by StoneWingedAngel



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Letters, Love Letters, M/M, Oblivious John Watson, Pining, Reichenbach, Sad Sherlock, Season 3, Unrequited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-22
Updated: 2015-05-22
Packaged: 2018-03-31 04:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3965080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StoneWingedAngel/pseuds/StoneWingedAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dear John,</p>
<p>I think you're breaking my heart. Never thought that was possible - thought the world was exaggerating. It so often does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters from the Dead

Dear John,

I'm writing a letter because I can't send it by mistake. I can't afford to have my fingers slip. You need to think I'm dead and it's not safe to talk out loud, so I have this. I feel ridiculous.

 

Dear John,

I killed my first man today. It was fascinating.

 

Dear John,

I lied. Blood spatter's less interesting when you know how it happened.

 

Dear John,

I felt sick.

 

Dear John,

I know love letters are outdated, but as I'm writing letters anyway I thought

 

Dear John,

A year's too much. I never expected to be away so long. Mycroft says you're getting by. He won't tell me anything else. I want to give you a sign, but I can't. I'm sorry.

 

Dear John,

Moriarty knew exactly how to get to me – he knew the three people who mattered most. He should never have been that close to you. I've got to make that right.

 

Dear John,

Eighteen months is a long time. You can punch me when I get back. I'm hoping you worked out it was just a magic trick. Mycroft says you cried at the beginning, when you thought people couldn't see it.

 

Dear John,

The killing gets easier, doesn't it?

 

Dear John,

When we first met you said it was all fine and I just wondered

 

Dear John,

I love you. You don't have to say anything; I just thought you should know. Also, not dead. I should have said that first.

 

Dear John,

It's been nearly two years. It's raining and I can't think of anything to

 

Dear John,

My head hurts. I wish you were here.

 

Dear John,

No I don't. The room's horrible. Ants. You'd hate it.

 

Dear John,

Mycroft doesn't want me to care so much. He says it's exhausting. He's right.

 

Dear John,

I love you.

 

Dear John,

It's finished – I'm coming home. I don't care if you laugh, or hit me, or cry, or faint. I still have the letters. I'm going to give them to you. You can read them. You can read all of them.

 

Dear John,

I wish you'd waited for me.

 

Dear John,

It's okay that you didn't. Two years is a long time. You're happy – even after what I put you through. That's fantastic. Brilliant. Amazing. She makes you happy, and

 

Dear John,

I'm sorry I left the wedding early. It was stupid – obvious. I think Mary's guessed. She won't say anything; there's no point now. I was too late and you're happy.

 

Dear John,

You'll be a fantastic parent.

 

Dear John,

I think you're breaking my heart. Never thought that was possible - thought the world was exaggerating. It so often does. 

 

Dear John,

I'm glad it was you. Who broke my heart.

 

Dear John,

I should burn these. It's not safe to have them around the flat – Mrs Hudson might find them.

 

Dear John,

I couldn't burn them. Sentiment. I put them in a safe instead. I'm keeping bits of paper in a safe. This is what sentiment does. I don't recommend it.

 

Dear John,

I'm sorry I have to go away again. Mycroft says he doesn't have a choice - I shot one of the most powerful men in the country. He thinks I was rash. Perhaps I was. 

 

Dear John,

I don't regret it. I don't regret stopping him from hurting you. 

 

Dear John,

Mycroft looks sad. I don't think I'm going to make it back.

 

Dear John,

I'm still glad it was you.

**Author's Note:**

> This was very old piece that I took out and reworked - I'm trying to get back into Sherlock characters and the shipping that comes with it, and I'm hoping this doesn't seem too OOC. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, feedback welcome!
> 
> The end.


End file.
